What do you call a polar bear that stands seven feet tall and weighs 600 pounds?

Sir.

Emma: Do you know the difference between a poisonous snake

and a loaf of bread?

Jacob: No.

Emma: That’s too bad.  I was going to send you to the store to

pick up a loaf of bread.

What would you call a gorilla wearing earplugs?

Anything you want.  He can’t hear you.

Doctor:  Stick out your tongue and say ahhhh!

Andrea:  Why?  I’m not mad at you.

Why do vampires drink blood?

Champagne is too expensive.

Why do some goats wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don’t work.

How do you know an elephant is hiding under your bed?

Your nose touches the ceiling.